saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize