im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
