where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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