I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
