btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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