Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
