I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize