How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
