Non-Jews are for practice
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
