why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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