It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
