I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
