Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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