after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
