if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
