Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
