Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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