I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
