i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
