i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
