So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize