Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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