Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
