So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
