I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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