Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
