we're blogging at a bar
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We need to get me chipped asap
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
