At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
