I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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