he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
