Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize