So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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