how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
