My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
