i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
