Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
love makes seman taste better
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
