It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
