It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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