if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
