Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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