he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize