so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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