were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
