Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
