This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
