I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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