so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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