just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize