This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
