your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
