You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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