I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
