i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
