I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
