I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
