he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
