sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
