hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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