Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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