absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
