Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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