its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
