Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
