Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
