Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you never un-have a 4some
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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