i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
3 2 1 whiskey
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
