I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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